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Cadmer
Cadmer glanced darkly at the pile of unpaid bills on his desk and grunted. Grunting was his way of expressing discontentment with the current state of his life. Sometimes he yelled, other times he went...
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Hardly Har Har
It starts early in life. You hear it almost upon leaving the womb. "What will you do with your life?" That's one of the more benign versions. The harsher ones like, "Think you'll ever amount to...
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The Pressure Principle
Everyone's writing and publishing books. The latest one is by my internet friend Rodney and it should be out soon. I really have mixed emotions about these things. Part of me hopes the books will fail...
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Merry What?
Sitting here listening to Miles Davis Quintet-Live in Europe 1967 The Bootleg Series Vol. 1 on my iPod with a martini at hand and wondering what I can do to keep this from sounding exactly like a...
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Valor of the Dolls
"I know you are but what am I?"Kind of amusing from a 12 year old. From a full-grown man the size of a Greyhound bus, not so much. I don't know whether the fight or flight instinct in the joker turned...
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Comic Support
In all seriousness.I think I've figured out why I've yet to produce a book. I am funny in short bursts. Just like when I make love.So any book you see or not will likely be a collection of essays. Very...
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Downhill Eraser
I think there are rocks in my stream of consciousness. The way I write is free and loose; I usually don't have a topic when I start, I just open my mind and let the muse tell me what she thinks is...
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Random Thoughts
Life. It's what's for dinner.Man, eating cereal at night just seems wrong.I have an idea for a book. It's about a mouse who's the perfect homemaker. She can cook, clean, decorate, sew, host parties...
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"Could it be....Santa?"
♫It's the most ________________ (insert expletive here) time of the year.♫Don't say anything. I was Scrooge and Grinch- like before it was cool. I don't have a tree or any decorations and I've been...
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The Bottom Line
So getting fired isn't enough. Now there's this thing firms like to do in addition: file an appeal to have your unemployment benefits denied. I can remember jobs in years past where that never...
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Taking Stock
I think it's time to admit it. I am a laughingstock. I'm so good at it in fact, I am readying my IPO. Naturally since it's me, Dow Jones isn't gonna do it. I shall have to offer my HumorSmith...
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Essence
I think my muse committed suicide. That's my theory anyway as I haven't heard anything from her of late. Of course it could be she just left me like every other woman in my life.That's probably it. She...
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Is That Hortense?
Ah hell. The longer my inaction goes on the more sure I am that I don't really want to be a writer.Hold on. Is it possible for inaction to go on? The word itself seems to indicate nothing is happening...
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Meh
Nothing. No blogging. I didn't really feel like writing so I didn't.What a concept. Imagine not doing something because you don't want to.The damnable thing is the world kept going anyway, despite my...
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The Proof Is In The Reading
The Craigslist job ad said: 3. All materials will spell checked and reviewed for accuracy.I had to think awhile before I responded and when I did I opened with, "Am I the only one who sees the irony...
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Once Upon A Thyme Part One
The tall blonde stood there staring, mouth open. "So- you're Snow White?"The woman facing her across the dusty dining room table nodded. "No one else butt.""Hey!"Snow narrowed her eyes. "What? How...
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Once Upon A Thyme Part Two
Snow White stared coolly at the blonde visitor. "Somehow I figured you'd turn out to be a private eye.""Why's that?" Cindy said."Because you didn't show me a badge and as it's only been three hours...
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Private Life? What's That?
Whoa. I have been Tweeting more than I have blogged of late. I admit it's mostly because I'm lazy and Twitter is easier. Yeah there's a lot more competition but the feedback, (or not) is instantaneous....
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Hell To The Chief
I've been wondering lately if the world is still funny or I'm not so much anymore. I have been finding it more difficult to laugh recently but that may be because I am just grumpy.First we have a...
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Syriasly?
Last time I was here my paragraph breaks weren't working and I had to manually insert them. Now it's not unusual for me to manually insert stuff but I'm not used to doing it on my blog. I kind of...
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TV Or Not TV
The new TV season has started. That's it. That's what my life has become. I mark the passage of time by TV seasons.Yet another reason why Netflix is fucking up my world. There are no seasons. No...
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Wait A Minute
I'm a waiter. I don't serve food. I just wait. That's what I've been doing my whole life. Waiting for a better job. Waiting for someone to love me as no other could. Waiting for my ship/bus/plane/pack...
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Base Instinct
Wow. I have been away for a bit but now I feel compelled to write something. Mostly because the nice lady I met at the bar said she might have a woman for me and I well..you know.Don't wanna say it's...
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Me And The Other Halves
Relationships are easy. Hell I even love that old quote that goes, "Before setting out on a marriage, first dig two graves."I've had lots of relationships. Wait a sec. You're not talking about...
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